do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
