I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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