i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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