i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think people are normalizing furries
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
