i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it was like eating out sand paper
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
