Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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