Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
