It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We have started to decorate penises.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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