wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
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I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
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Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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