You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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