I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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