Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
