So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
