You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
