this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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