Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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