just survived the first fart of the relationship.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
