Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
