Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The struggles of a small town man whore
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
