i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
