i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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