IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
