id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
