my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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