Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
