only if we run a train.
done.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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