We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
