I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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