Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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