he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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