around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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