FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
