i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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