Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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