Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
