and my herpes radar will keep us safe
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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