I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize