Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
