I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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