I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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