i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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