Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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