i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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