She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
