actually, I'm a sock model
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
