At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
