Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
