The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
