my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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