Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
