can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
