Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
