Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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