hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
