I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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