If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
