walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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