If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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