What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
She announced her abortion via fbk
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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