why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
