I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
