Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
